I am Vanessa Jade, and I have returned to your timeline from the future to warn you about the… oh, wait.


Greetings, humans, do not be alarmed. I stepped fully formed from the crater of my time machine and immediately wanted to find somewhere to drink bourbon and take nudie pictures.

I found the Internet and I like it here. I’m not leaving.

If you’re into goth/alt/industrial girls without the pretension, without the hype and without the bullshit. Okay, just kidding, I’m pretentious as fuck and I’m probably sitting in a graveyard smoking clove cigarettes, drinking wine and listening to Bauhaus and Einstürzende Neubauten at the same time while lighting candles and writing bad poetry.

Anyway. I’ve been doing this whole thing for a long time and I keep doing it because it’s fun, I’m a weird exhibitionist and I like performing.

When I’m not doing this (which, admittedly, is most of the time), I enjoy such things as goth/industrial music and clubs/concerts, video games (especially retro arcade games at which I am terrible and the entire Legend of Zelda series at which I am slightly less terrible), photography, design work and making questionable choices. Sometimes I wear other people’s bathrobes. I literally have the lamest sense of humor ever.

I love to travel and do artsy shit like drawing and painting, as well.  And wine. And those boozy, fruity flaming drinks they serve you at tiki bars with the long straws that come in a soup tureen.

I look like this almost all the time, I’m sorry

There’s just so much WTF and I don’t want any of it

Vanessa in her Natural Habitat™